I'm at my wit's end.
I don't know if everything that's happened lately is satanic attacks or lessons in humility/contentment from the Father. Either way, I don't know how we can survive this much longer.
In June, we moved from Kyle to San Marcos and into a 3 bedroom single wide trailer. I guess neither me or my siblings and for that matter my parents knew the severity of our financial situation.
I praise God for all that He's given us, and I earnestly try to praise Him for all that He's taken away but right now I''m just so overwhelmed. And if I'm feeling like this, I can't even imagine how my parents feel. Mom, Jay and I are all having to apply for jobs. Jay and I more for being able to pay for ourselves and saving up for things, but also to help out.
This is going to be so difficult for Mom to do while Morgynn and I are still being homeschooled, and I think the plan is for her to work nights. How is she ever going to sleep?
On top of this, my 18th birthday is fast approaching and I may not be able to have a party at all. But at this point I would settle for my best friends just coming over to hang out. My car's registration and inspection are almost up and there's no way the inspection will pass with my car being half gone. I have to replace the bumper and a few other things, which will be around 300 dollars. And then today, my phone died, possibly for good though I'm planning an exorcism, and we have no way of replacing it.
I don't see a way of me getting to Honduras this year which is where my heart so fervently longs to be.
I know that all of these things don't really matter in the scheme of every suffering person in the world, that there are children dying of hunger and women being trafficked and Christian brothers and sisters being brutally murdered. But it's getting more and more difficult for me to inhale and exhale every day. I can't focus on school or in dance or life in general because of the overwhelming amount of stress put on me and my family.
I am pleading for cries to the Father, Family. Please pray for us. Not for financial security but for us to be willing to do whatever He wants of us. For us to recklessly abandon and surrender our lives to Him. For the peace that only comes from the Love of our God poured out on us. Pray for us, Beautiful Family.
